20demayo Chapter 24 Lockhart
Chapter 24 Lockhart
Second-year classes at Hogwarts were a bit boring for Harry. Once the initial excitement of being a freshman wore off, he didn't even find the Great Hall's magical ceiling particularly fascinating anymore. (Because it was a cloudy day.)
Pickled herring? Not good. Grilled bacon? So-so. The toast and fried eggs were alright, but why doesn't the school provide more proper meat for breakfast? Lunch and dinner are quite substantial...
"Good morning, Harry."
Harry, who was eating breakfast with a cold expression, felt much better after hearing Hermione's voice. But just as he turned around to greet her, he found Hermione engrossed in reading "Sailing with Vampires." Harry almost vomited at the sight of Gilderoy Lockhart's greasy smile on the cover, and his greeting turned into an impatient complaint.
"Can't you just not read his books?"
“Harry… We should always learn from excellent teachers. Think about it, even Dumbledore believed that Professor Lockhart was capable of being the professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts, which is enough to prove that he is truly talented. Besides, who else in this world can achieve so much at such a young age?”
Harry wasn't like Mo Ran. After Hermione's earnest advice, he really realized that he had been judging people by their appearance.
"Ok."
Harry wiped his mouth and asked Hermione:
When was our first Defense Against the Dark Arts class?
"Didn't you bring your class schedule?"
"I forgot... wait?"
Harry grabbed Hermione's timetable, and said with a mixture of surprise and anger:
Why did you circle Lockhart's classes with hearts?
Hermione's face flushed instantly. She looked around to make sure no one was watching, then snatched back her timetable and stormed off with her books in her arms.
Harry intended to chase after her, but just as he was about to stand up from his seat, a little boy named Colin Crevey blocked his view of Hermione.
"Hello! Harry Potter? The famous Harry! I... I'm Colin, Colin Creevey! Nice to meet you! I was sorted into Gryffindor last night too!"
The little boy's face was even redder than Hermione's had been. He held the camera in one hand and nervously reached out the other towards Harry.
"Hello, Colin."
Harry, possessing exceptional self-control, didn't embarrass himself in front of his juniors. He quickly regained his composure and then said:
Is there anything I can do to help you?
Seeing his idol shake his hand so warmly, Colin became even more excited. He took a step forward and showed off the camera in his arms, saying:
"Do you think I would be honored to take a picture of you? I mean, that way I can prove that I've seen you!"
"Um...of course you can..."
"Really?! That's great! Well... maybe I can stand next to you and ask a classmate to take the picture, and then... maybe you could even sign the photo for me?"
"A signed photo?"
Harry almost cried out. After Colin's description, an image inexplicably appeared in his mind—himself in the future sitting in Flourish and Blotts, signing one autobiography after another bearing the charming smile of "the great Harry Potter".
Harry finished his food in a few bites, then shook the food crumbs off his robes and said:
"I can take a picture with you, Colin, but it'll have to wait until later in the common room. And... forget about autographs, that would be too much."
After saying this, Harry ran off towards the greenhouse area outside the castle without looking back. This was the first time he had ever been so eager to go to the Herbology classroom.
……
Before the formal Defense Against the Dark Arts class, Gilderoy Lockhart made two guest appearances in the Herbology and Transfiguration classrooms. According to him, this was a necessary process for teachers to exchange magical and teaching experiences. He also repeatedly emphasized that he was no better than Professors Sprout and McGonagall in herbology and transfiguration, only that he had learned some more practical knowledge during his adventures. (Thanks to his help, over a dozen of Professor Sprout's mandrakes became malnourished.)
After witnessing such a confident demeanor, Harry became even more curious about Lockhart.
"Cough cough cough~"
After all the students were seated in the classroom, Lockhart cleared his throat in an exaggerated tone. He reached for a book on a nearby table—"Walking with Trolls"—and flashed a greasy smile that was exactly the same as the one on the cover.
"I~"
Lockhart paced around the classroom.
"Gidero Lockhart~"
"A recipient of the Order of Merlin, Third Class, an honorary member of the Defense Against the Dark Arts, and a five-time winner of The Wizarding Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award."
At this point, he winked at the students.
"However, I don't often bring that up, after all~ I don't get rid of Wanlun's ghost with a charming smile."
Harry felt like he was going to throw up. He glanced at Ron, who was having a similar reaction, and then at Hermione, who was starry-eyed and smitten. He forced himself to keep listening.
"I see everyone has bought my complete works... well, I have to admit it makes me very happy. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, upholding its consistently high standards for teachers, approached me to fill the vacancy for Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. A wise decision, isn't it?"
"For me, this is more than just a job. You know, there are countless book signings and adventures waiting for me in the world. If it weren't for the sentiment of spending my youth here and my sense of responsibility to protect the future of young wizards, I would never waste my time in this safe but boring castle."
"Alright, before we officially start the class, I think we need to do a short quiz first."
Oh no!
Aside from Hermione, almost all the students groaned in despair, including the girls who also had adoring eyes for Lockhart.
"Don't worry, children, there's nothing to be afraid of..."
Lockhart flashed his signature smile again, which actually quieted down some of the female students.
"I just want to see how well you've read the book, and how much of the profound magical knowledge I've hidden between the lines has you grasped."
"The time limit is thirty minutes. Starting now..."
Harry hadn't read Lockhart's autobiographies at all; he thought they were fine for casual reading, but the "profound magical knowledge" was just an exaggerated self-promotion. Sure enough, when he received the scroll containing three full pages of parchment, he was shocked to see:
1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?
2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?
3. What do you think is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?
……
54. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday? What would be his ideal birthday present?
Mo Ran in the live stream:
"Holy shit!"
……
Thirty minutes felt like torture. Harry, clinging to the last shred of respect for the Hogwarts professors, scribbled down some answers haphazardly. Ron, standing beside him, gave up immediately; he didn't even consider copying Harry and Hermione's answers.
"Tsk tsk..."
After collecting the test papers, Gilderoy Lockhart immediately began to look through them in front of the entire class.
"Green, purple, and gold... almost no one remembers that my favorite is lilac. If you read 'A Year with the Tibetan Yeti' carefully, you will find that I mentioned this answer twice, in Chapter Seven and Chapter Thirteen."
"Also, how could my ideal birthday present be cosmetics? Who wrote this? Why isn't there a name on it?"
"Well, whoever this student is, I made it very clear in 'Wandering with Werewolves' that for Gilderoy Lockhart, the ideal birthday present would be for everyone, whether they have magic or not, to live in harmony... However, I usually wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden Fire Whisky. These words are in Chapter Twelve, and those who have forgotten should read them again."
Ron, Seamus, Dean, and Neville, though unaware that Harry had written the answer to "cosmetics," were still thoroughly amused. Hermione, who was listening intently to the lecture, was quite displeased with these disrespectful boys. Just as she turned around to make a "shh" gesture, she suddenly heard her name called out by Lockhart.
"Miss Hermione Granger!"
"Only Hermione Granger in the whole class remembers that my secret revenge is to eradicate all evil from the world and to sell a line of hair care products that I make and endorse. Good heavens, you're such a good girl, and..."
Lockhart quickly flipped through Hermione's densely written exam paper, then praised it aloud like a singer.
"Unbelievable! One hundred points! Where is Miss Hermione Granger? Please stand up so I and the whole class can see you."
Hermione stood up unsteadily, her face so red it could fry an egg.
"Fantastic! Absolutely fantastic! I'm giving Gryffindor an extra twenty points!"
Hearing this, all the young Gryffindor wizards perked up considerably. Except, of course, Harry—who was furious.
Amidst applause, Gilderoy Lockhart, like a conductor, gestured with his hands.
"Alright, alright, everyone, there's no need to get so excited. Miss Granger, please have a seat too. Remember to come back to me after class to collect an autographed photo."
"Now let's get back to the main topic!"
Lockhart's expression changed incredibly quickly; one second he looked satisfied, and the next he became serious.
"I hope you students haven't forgotten the true meaning of this lesson: Dumbledore invited me here to teach you how to defend against the most evil, terrifying, and dangerous things in the wizarding world!"
As he spoke, he lifted a cloth-covered cage from behind the podium. The cage shook violently as it was placed on the table, and the classroom fell silent instantly.
"What you're about to encounter are the ferocious monsters I've met on my adventures. Although with me here in this classroom, you're guaranteed to be safe, don't blame me for warning you—don't be intimidated by their terrifying appearance!"
Swish!
Lockhart ripped the cover off, and Seamus Finigan and Ron were the first to burst out laughing.
"Pfft."
"what happened?"
Gilderoy Lockhart possesses remarkable mental fortitude.
"Oh, I see. You must think these Cornish elves aren't dangerous at all, right?"
"Don't be so sure! You who are just sitting at your desks studying have no idea that these little guys are as cunning and vicious as devils."
Looking at those pale-brown Cornish elves, only about eight inches tall, with large ears, small pointed faces, and shrill, chattering voices like budgies, Harry immediately tucked his wand back into his belt.