I heard you still love her

Chapter 19

Xiao Ruoyan, a gentleman, has encountered a trough in her life. She has never been so embarrassed. Amidst Yan Zhilan's laughter, she snatched the pajamas from her hand and went into the bathroom.

Yan Zhilan just laughed, she just wanted to tease her with that kind of eyes that see through everything, so much so that Xiao Ruoyan's heartbeat didn't recover when she entered the bathroom, she took a deep breath, calmed her heart, and looked in the mirror in myself.

Long hair shawls, a face like a peach blossom, and the delicate features of a little woman in her eyebrows and eyes.

Xiao Ruoyan turned on the faucet, patted his face with cold water, and said to himself: "Calm down, you have to be calm."

She remembered what the boss and Lanlan said.

She is attacking!

In terms of momentum, you must not lose to Xiaoyan!

……

Yan Zhilan outside the door was in a good mood. She couldn't help laughing when she thought of Xiao Ruoyan's shy and furious appearance. She looked at the time and found that it was 10:30. This point should be the beginning of the rich man's nightlife.

Without even thinking about it, she picked up her mobile phone and called President Qin Haiyao.

In the past few days since Xiao Ruoyan came back, Boss Qin has been mentally weakened by the torture of Teacher Yan. She answered the phone and said weakly, "Teacher Yan."

Yan Zhilan's lips curled up when she heard her voice: "Excuse me, President Qin."

On the other side of the phone, Qin Haiyao exhaled angrily, as if forbearance and restraint, this point is indeed what Yan Zhilan thought, her night life has just begun, President Qin should have been reading documents while drinking red wine, but what happened accident.

Under the soft quilt of Violet, a person lay there lazily. She looked at the flushed Qin Haiyao with her long and narrow eyes, and moved her arms as if punishing her.

Mr. Qin condescended to her, bit his lips and warned the person with his eyes, but his body was controlled by others, and no matter how strong she was, she turned into endless forbearance, "Teacher Yan, don't worry, I promised you, everything I have handed over all the things, and I will not treat your baby badly."

When Yan Zhilan heard Mr. Qin's voice, she couldn't bear it, "Then thank you, Mr. Qin. I will come to thank you in person someday. I wish you a wonderful night."

The word "night" was especially emphasized by her.

Qin Haiyao: ...

See it through or not, does Teacher Yan understand?

……

Hang up.

The person under the quilt embraced her, it was President Qin's lover Ruan Yihan, she kissed her lips, "Why are you so nice to her?"

Qin Haiyao twisted her face helplessly, "Do you want to eat this vinegar too? Don't you think Teacher Yan and the others are also very bitter? You know, with her meager salary for so many years, how much money she bought from me? A song written by Xiao Ruoyan? Teacher Yan is very proud of a teacher, but for Xiao Ruoyan, she really comes to me again and again. "

Ruan Yihan smiled and shook her head, Qin Haiyao sighed: "Maybe it's because we have experienced it. When we see them, we always think of our beginning."

Ruan Yihan's snow-white long arms pulled her over, "They will be happy too."

……

Yan Zhilan, who got the promise from President Qin, was as happy as a child. With a slight smile on her face, she raised her hand, touched herself, then looked at the phone she had put down, and murmured: "It's true."

All this is true.

Compared to Yan Zhilan's happiness.

Xiao Ruoyan in the bathroom was a little stunned. She looked at the words written with her fingertips on the mirror that had been soaked in mist, and her heart ached.

"Ayan, is the water not hot?"

Outside the door, Yan Zhilan's voice, which had not been heard for a long time, made Xiao Ruoyan dazed. She quickly turned on the shower in the bathroom and let some water come out.

With the sound of water droplets, Xiao Ruoyan's phone on the sink vibrated, her eyes still stayed on the mirror, and she picked up the phone to look at it.

It was a message from Gao Yu.

——Ruoyan, I asked my honey to find a familiar doctor abroad, where did you find this medicine?

Xiao Ruoyan's body was cold, and the ambiguity and throbbing before entering the bathroom were gone. She stared blankly at the words written by Xiaoyan on the mirror.

——It's real, not a hallucination.

After calling Gao Yu, Xiao Ruoyan lowered his voice, "What's the matter?"

Listening to her lowered voice, Gao Yu knew that it was inconvenient for her to speak, "Is...is she using it?"

The word "she" naturally refers to Yan Zhilan.

Xiao Ruoyan bit her lip, "Yes."

There was a pause on the phone for a few seconds, Gao Yu sighed in his heart, and said softly: "The medicine is a psychotropic medicine, it mediates the nervous system of the person..."

When Gao Yu's dear Wang Yuying took the photo to ask a familiar doctor, the doctor looked at the photo carefully in a white coat, and was surprised: "Wow, where did you find it?" He looked up. Look at Wang Yuying: "Who is eating this?"

Seeing the doctor's behavior, Wang Yuying knew that it was not good. He told the truth: "A friend in China is secretly eating it. What's the use of not telling others."

The doctor looked at the photo over and over again, very cautious: "Because it's just a photo, I can't see the patient or see the actual situation, so I can only tell you that this medicine is a psychotropic medicine. Patients who take this medicine, Most of them have had severe psychological trauma, we medical students call it Complex PTSD, which is a complex post-traumatic stress disorder syndrome caused by various reasons."

Wang Yuying was a little confused: "Is it depression?"

The doctor shook his head: "There are some parts that are the same, but some are different. This disease is very complicated and painful. In addition to the physical pain, the patient suffers more psychologically. For example, I have met a patient. She She was sexually assaulted when she was a child. When she grew up, she always had nightmares. She always felt that she was violated one at a time, as if it happened in real life. It was a hallucination, but it was very real. Your friend must have experienced some kind of pain , Let her be immersed in hallucinations, this hallucination may be the hope that helps her get out, or it may push her into the abyss of pain..."

"Simply put, this medicine is used to regulate nerves and suppress hallucinations. After all, it is a psychotropic medicine. Taking too much will damage the body."

…………

There was a fire surging in her heart, which made Xiao Ruoyan tremble and almost couldn't stand still. She gritted her teeth and dialed the phone.

On the other side of the phone, Yan Zhiyi didn't seem surprised to receive a call from Xiao Ruoyan, but said flatly, "Call me, what do you want to know?"

Xiao Ruoyan's emotions surged, and her tears flowed down her cheeks, "She...why does she take medicine to suppress hallucinations, why..."

why.

Yan Zhiyi was silent for a while, "Do you know what she has been through these years? If it wasn't for this, and for the illusion of you being by her side, she wouldn't be able to hold on at all."

In fact, if Xiao Ruoyan didn't call her, she would also want to come to this girl.

Ten years ago, she was still able to stand on the side of her father, Yan Feng, and persuade her younger sister not to like the same sex, not to be obsessed with regrets.

But after so many years, seeing how her younger sister came out of the abyss of pain step by step, day by day, how could she bear it?

She knew that if they did this again, they would really lose Yan Zhilan forever.

Yan Zhiyi's voice is very soft, but it has a heavy texture, which is different from Xiaoyan's gentleness and softness.

"You know why she didn't go to you after graduating from college?"

Xiao Ruoyan felt that her soul had gone out of her body, "She committed suicide."

Yan Zhiyi's heart ached when she heard this, "Then do you know how she got here after she committed suicide?"

……

Xiao Ruoyan once said that Yan Zhilan is a person who loves and respects life.

At the beginning of the third year of high school, the school paid great attention to psychological education. Nowadays, with the increasing pressure of the college entrance examination, there are often incidents of students committing suicide due to the pressure.

After hearing this, Xiao Ruoyan sighed, "Although I can understand it, I can't accept it."

Yan Zhilan looked at her and thought for a while, "Death should be something that requires a lot of courage."

Xiao Ruoyan hugged her: "We are not yet eighteen, and a beautiful life has just begun. This kind of courage is unnecessary."

Yan Zhilan tilted her head, thoughtfully: "Well, tomorrow is so good, we have to live a good life, our family has given us such a bright future, if we can, we should help more people in need."

Xiao Ruoyan smiled and scratched her nose, "Yes, let's work hard to help the poor and build bridges and roads, shall we?"

……

But no one thought that a person who loves life so much would end up at a dead end.

In her third year of high school, Yan Zhilan endured and endured the repeated oppression of her classmates with various skin colors in a foreign country.

She is beautiful, has excellent academic performance, and plays the piano so well, many people have long regarded her as a thorn in the side.

They pushed her, they deliberately threw her food on the floor when she was eating, they locked her in the toilet, and they stepped on her school uniform skirt proudly.

Yan Zhilan could bear it. When she got home, she didn't say anything to anyone and secretly cleaned the wound by herself again and again.

Sometimes, when the pain was really unbearable, she would read Xiao Ruoyan's note over and over again, stroking the words on it with her fingers.

——Wait for me, four years later, after graduating from university, we must be together.

Her Ah Yan is waiting for her.

She doesn't want another accident, she just needs to bear it, and she can get through it.

The biggest one was when Yan Zhilan and her school organized a winter marathon. She was pushed down from behind when she was exhausted when she was about to reach the finish line.

Large-scale soft tissue contusion. When she arrived at the hospital, the doctor found that the injury on her body was not just a contusion. There were many old scars on her snow-white skin, and even on her arm, she could see traces of cigarette butt burns.

Yan Feng went to school and was furious. He wanted to tell who bullied her and hold those people accountable.

Yan Zhilan was just looking out the window like a puppet, she missed Ah Yan, missed her so much.

It's Ah Yan's birthday soon, she can't be by her side, will she secretly wipe tears again?

……

Persevered in a muddle for a year.

No one knows where Yan Zhilan's tenacity came from. After she returned home, she was not affected by the injury at all, and she studied harder, and finally got admitted to the ideal school.

Yan Feng breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that his daughter had finally forgotten her, and finally moved forward.

But my sister saw many late nights, Yan Zhilan played the piano alone and burst into tears.

Yes, during the four years of college, she thought about her all the time.

As the days approached, her heart was pounding, and under her repeated pleading, she asked her sister to secretly help her buy a plane ticket back to China.

She thought she would see Ah Yan, and thought that all these years of waiting had finally come to fruition.

But at the airport, Yan Feng's bodyguards were already waiting there wearing sunglasses.

That was the first time Yan Zhiyi saw her sister collapse.

Yan Zhilan, who has always been gentle, reserved and forbearing, squatted on the ground, crying loudly, and even in the end, she lay on the ground, using all her strength to fight against the bodyguard, "No, don't touch me, I won't leave—"

Ah Yan.

Her Ah Yan is still waiting for her.

Yan Zhilan cried heart-rendingly, she was struggling like a trapped animal, and the wailing from her chest was heart-piercing.

She was dragged back.

Back home, Yan Feng didn't give her any sympathy: "You should die, don't even think about being with that pervert, Xiaoyan, I'll warn you for the last time, if you think about it again, I will ruined her future."

Again.

He used Xiao Ruoyan's future to write about his sister again.

Yan Zhilan is fearless, she can do whatever she wants, only Xiao Ruoyan is her weakness.

Yan Zhiyi felt uncomfortable, she bit her lip, "Dad, she—"

"roll!"

Yan Feng was furious, "Tomorrow, tomorrow you will meet Su Zhe, and you will get engaged this summer vacation. What's the use of asking you to read so many books??? Your brain is broken."

The Su family and the Yan family had a verbal family marriage. The two families are big and prestigious families, and they are well matched. What's more, that kid Su Zhe has long been interested in his daughter, and Yan Feng knows it.

Yan Zhilan, who had been silent all this time, suddenly spoke. She stared at her father and said word by word, "I won't see you, and I won't marry him."

Yan Feng couldn't bear it anymore, he rushed forward, almost pulling Yan Zhilan from the sofa.

Yan Zhilan's complexion was pale and she couldn't go back to her country, her heart had already been broken, but she still stared at Yan Feng stubbornly at this moment.

Yan Feng took a deep breath, "Listen to me, if I get engaged to Su Zhe, I will let you meet."

This sentence, like honey on a knife, is full of temptation.

He thought that his daughter would take advantage of the trend to ask for that sweetness, but Yan Zhilan shook her head, and she said softly, "I won't be engaged to him."

She promised Ah Yan.

Her person, this heart, will always be hers alone.

What's the point if it belongs to someone else?

After all, Yan Feng exploded, he gritted his teeth and opened Yan Zhilan's clenched fingers, and snatched from it the note that she would spend after reading it countless times over the years.

——Wait for me, four years later, after graduating from university, we must be together.

That was left to her by Xiao Ruoyan.

It is the hope that Yan Zhilan has persevered in these years.

Yan Feng tore it into pieces vigorously, and threw it in front of Yan Zhilan, "You should give up that heart, you can never be together!"

Is that the case?

Snowflake-like pieces of paper fluttered and fell in front of him.

Yan Zhilan was lying on the cold floor, she was so weak that she couldn't even get up.

At that moment, her eyes were empty, as if...as if she had no soul.

Yan Zhiyi's heart was broken when she saw it, she hugged her younger sister in tears, and held her in her arms, "Xiaoyan, Xiaoyan..."

Yan Zhilan didn't respond for a long time, and finally, her sister's hot tears streamed down her face, Yan Zhilan looked at her sister in confusion, and murmured: "Sister, I miss her very much, I really miss her..."

She wants to take a look at her.

Even a glance is fine.

That night.

Yan Zhiyi was uneasy, she kept looking at her sister, always afraid that something might happen to her.

Only when she went to take a bath, she didn't follow.

When the red color spread in the bathtub, Yan Zhilan closed her eyes, leaning against the warm water, feeling dizzy from excessive blood loss.

at that moment.

She saw Xiao Ruoyan.

She watched her Ah Yan walk over like her like before, she hugged her, and kissed her gently: "Xiaoyan, I'm back."

……

Three days and three nights of rescue.

Yan Zhilan was rescued.

She used her determination and her life to fight against her father, and she won a tragic victory.

She had no joy, just lying on the cold bed, no matter what the family said, she didn't respond.

From then on, something was wrong with Yan Zhilan, she became lethargic.

Sometimes, I can't wake up for two or three days after falling asleep.

But sometimes, she couldn't sleep night after night. When she couldn't sleep, Yan Zhilan was very anxious. Yan Zhiyi even saw her stabbing her arm with a pen like self-harm. She held her down. Later, when she found out After discovering that there were a lot of sleeping pills at home, Yan Feng also became afraid again.

The Yan family sought many doctors and had many physical examinations. Later, the psychiatrist Sophia took over.

She listened to Yan Zhiyi tell about her sister's experience in detail.

From the beginning to the end, Yan Zhilan sat on the cold chair without saying a word.

During this time, she has always been like this, with empty eyes, as if alive, and just alive.

The walking dead in general.

After Sophia heard this, she was silent for a long time. Finally, the young doctor looked at Yan Zhilan and asked softly, "Did you see her when you fell asleep?"

Yan Zhilan's eyelids twitched, Yan Zhiyi's body trembled violently, and she looked at her sister in disbelief.

Sophia continued to ask: "Did you wake up and find that you lost her again? Time and time again, gaining and losing her, it's too painful?"

Yan Zhilan's tears flowed down drop by drop, Sophia stood up, and she hugged Yan Zhilan.

At that moment, in the arms of a stranger, she cried.

After holding back for so long, Xiaoyan cried.

She misses Ah Yan very much, very much.

She couldn't hold on any longer.

……

Yan Zhiyi said softly, "After returning to China, she got better, but she is still receiving treatment, and sometimes she can't distinguish dreams from reality."

……

Stand under the sprinkler.

Xiao Ruoyan bit her fingertips with the help of water, tears streaming down her face like crazy.

Her mind is full of Xiaoyan's words.

When we first met, she looked into her eyes that she couldn't believe.

It was in the hotel, the sentence she was looking forward to, "Ayan, can you hug me?"

It was countless times, when talking to her, Xiaoyan's obsessed eyes were her careful not to be sure, "Ayan, is this true?"

Xiaoyan stole her shirt, stole her vest, just wanted to feel more of this reality.

……

when coming out of the bathroom.

Yan Zhilan noticed that Xiao Ruoyan's eyes were a little red, and she looked at her suspiciously.

Xiao Ruoyan tilted her head, "It took a long time to wash." She looked at Yan Zhilan's wet hair, "Come here."

In the dormitory in high school, they would dry each other's hair every time they took a shower.

Yan Zhilan sat in front of the dressing table, looking at Xiao Ruoyan quietly, Xiao Ruoyan carefully blow-dried her hair strand by strand, not knowing what she was thinking, she kept biting her lip and trying to restrain her emotions.

"Ayan, you have suffered a lot these years."

Yan Zhilan thought that she came here and remembered something, that's why her mood fluctuated.

It's okay not to say, but when Xiao Ruoyan said it, his nose became sore and tears rolled down his face.

Her little face.

her girl.

She was already bruised and bruised, but she was still worried about her emotions.

Xiao Ruoyan didn't say a word, she blew her hair little by little, and Yan Zhilan leaned back and approached her arms softly.

She still looked at Xiao Ruoyan without blinking, as if if she closed her eyes, she would disappear.

That look was too persistent, too greedy, and too cautious.

Xiao Ruoyan was so sad that she dried her hair, turned off the hair dryer, turned her head and hugged Yan Zhilan in her arms.

Turn off the hair dryer.

Xiao Ruoyan turned Yan Zhilan around and hugged her tightly.

She is pushing too hard.

Xiao Yan could hardly breathe.

Yan Zhilan's heart flustered for a moment, she stepped back and looked at Xiao Ruoyan: "Ayan, you..."

Xiao Ruoyan grabbed her hand and put it on his lips, "Xiaoyan, look at me."

Yan Zhilan looked at her, Xiao Ruoyan grabbed her hand and put it on his lips, "It's yours."

She grabbed her hand and put it on the collarbone, "It's still yours."

She went down again, staring at Yan Zhilan: "It's all yours, it's all true."

After finishing speaking, without waiting for Yan Zhilan's reaction, Xiao Ruoyan lowered her head, put her arms around Xiaoyan's waist that was so thin that it broke her heart, and kissed her cold lips.

She wants to heal her with the purest love.

The author has something to say: Hey, Ye Zi's nose is full of tears.

I feel like the text is just the beginning.

They will use practical actions to slap their parents and all those who opposed them.

They will hold hands well, and they will live a long and happy life.