20demayo Chapter 149: Deus Ex Machina
Chapter 149: Deus Ex Machina
chapter 149: deus ex machina
veecha hurriedly preened as she carefully selected the best piece of pie and put it on a plate. then, she paused at the grill, rubbed a little oil on her beak, and hurried out into the starport diner.
gods, he was so cute!
“here you go, sweetie!” she said brightly as she presented bryce with a slice of pecan pie.
she stood there breathlessly as bryce took a bite and smiled.
“that, veecha, is without a doubt the best piece of pie i’ve had in long time,” bryce said as he cocked his head to the side and looked at her with one of his eyes.
veecha’s breath caught a little as she looked at his darling little pinpoint pupil. he looked just like a male, and a cute one at that! she caught herself wondering if humans really could... you know... with just about any species.
gods! what was she thinking?
bryce’s phone buzzed. he glanced at it. tartarus was getting frantic. he was so late for check-in and so far out of his allowed area that there could be no doubt he was up to something. tartarus couldn’t delay much longer. she would have to send a team.
he felt bad for her. he knew she wasn’t “real”, but still... he considered her a friend. she was a friend, and he was making her be the one to pull the trigger.
he really was an asshole.
“in fact,” bryce said as his smile softened, “if that is the last slice of pie i ever eat, i won’t be overly disappointed.”
what an odd turn of phrase, veecha thought as she cooed happily at what simply had to be a compliment. then again, she was still learning terran idioms.
“i made it myself!” she chirped proudly.
“did you?” bryce said as he clicked his teeth together in a way that made veecha happy inside, “where did you learn to make pie like that?”
bryce’s phone buzzed again. bryce turned it off. it felt so nice to do that.
“i worked for a human bakery back on new eurasia before i came to the republic!”
“this is weeb pie?” bryce asked in mock horror as he made a face that somehow made him look even more adorably avian.
veecha coo-giggled, bobbing her head up and down.
“pecan is my favorite!” veecha trilled, “in fact, pecans are why i came to the republic! they were so expensive on new eurasia. here, you can just pick them up off... of... the...”
veecha trailed off as she looked outside. there were a lot of flashing lights. something was going on.
bryce followed her gaze and smiled wickedly as he took a sip of coffee.
“i wonder what that’s all about,” veecha said as she smoothed her frilly apron.
“multiple homicide,” bryce said absently, “a bad one.”
“what?!?”
“that’s a threen ship,” bryce said as he ate some more pie. “it landed here loaded with harkeen thugs who then went and got themselves into a bit of trouble. when the police arrived to detain their boss, they found that everyone on board had been brutally murdered prior to their arrival.”
veecha gasped as a duster-clad peace officer stumbled out of the ship, clearly shaken.
“that’s terrible!”
“well, they had it coming,” bryce said as he polished off his pie and took a deep drink of coffee. “they were going to do some very bad things to some very nice people, and someone objected to that.”
“m... ms. barkley warned me about this place...” veecha stammered.
“i wouldn’t worry too much about it,” bryce said pleasantly as he passed a card across a sensor inset into the table. “in fact, things will probably be a bit safer around here for quite some time. the new boss of the free port is quite ‘nice’ from what i hear. i haven’t had the pleasure of meeting her personally, but her people are wonderful.”
a white cargo van pulled in across the street. the doors opened, and three perfectly normal, nondescript-looking people, two men and a woman, got out.
they were utterly forgettable people, by design, tier four “hounds”, one of the greatest achievements of the cerberus project.
if he had any hope left, he would have lost it right then. since he didn’t, he felt a little flattered. it was nice that he was so appreciated by the organization.
he sighed and stood.
“well, it has been lovely chatting with you, veecha, but it seems that i am out of time,” bryce said softly in a way that made the small feathers on veecha’s neck stand up and not in a good way. “thank you for the pie.”
bryce headed towards the door.
“wait,” veecha said as the chill she was feeling grew deeper, “if the police just arrived, how did you know what happened on that ship?”
“have a lovely day,” bryce said with a charming smile as he opened the door and walked out onto the street.
veecha just stood there for a few moments as her mind came to a rather obvious conclusion. she had just fed a murderer! squeaking in distress, she fled into the kitchen.
it took the remainder of that pie to calm her down. if pecans weren’t so delicious, she would have been on the next flight out.
***
high above the planet, pam paused and took a deep breath before stepping into an open doorway.
“good morning, boss,” pam said with just a touch too much innocent cheer as she walked into his office. “y-you wanted to see—“
when hades looked up, her voice cut out as her throat tightened.
“shut the door,” hades said with a tone more mechanical than anything tartarus had ever used.
“s-sure thing, boss,” she replied as her heart froze in her chest.
at the end of a long deserted corridor deep within the most secure detention facility in the republic, a door was quietly pulled closed with an oddly final sounding ‘click’.
***
bryce walked over to the waiting trio with a friendly smile.
“good morning,” he said pleasantly.
“enjoy your little vacation?” the oldest of the three asked.
“immensely,” bryce said calmly. “i have no intention of making a scene and will come quietly.”
the woman glanced over towards the ever-growing mass of police and government vehicles surrounding the threen freighter and smirked.
“if this clusterfuck doesn’t meet your definition of making a scene, then i’m happy to hear it.”
“you should be,” bryce smiled, his true face showing for once.
it was definitely not “cute”.
“you should look like that more often,” the woman said with a rare genuine smile as she put on a pair of gloves. “your device, hand it over.”
“my device?” bryce said as he pulled out his “phone”.
“you’ve been hacked, pretty boy,” the woman said as she took the phone. one of the men pulled out a small chest from the van, and she dropped bryce’s phone into it.
the chest beeped once and then sealed itself shut. inside, hordes of nanobots ate their way through the lining and started devouring the phone, molecule by molecule. soon, there would be nothing left but lifeless grey goo and sludge.
the woman pulled out a new phone and tossed it over to bryce. “there’s your new one,” she said. “get someplace private, now. tartarus is about to pop a fuse. see ya.”
the trio then climbed into the van and drove off...
...leaving a very confused bryce staring at his new phone.
***
“do you have any idea how overdue you are for check-in?” tartarus said in a very displeased tone of voice. “do you know how many incident reports you have generated?”
“i thought you enjoyed those,” bryce replied with a slight (but still quite confused chuckle).
seriously, why wasn’t a clearly aroused pam strapping him into an interrogation chair right now?
“oh, i do, but trying to constantly find creative new ways to describe “awol”, “desertion”, and “broken conditioning” without actually using the words “awol”, “desertion”, and “broken conditioning” was a bit of a hassle,” tartarus replied. “i should have sent a termination squad hours ago.”
“so why didn’t you?”
no, seriously, why didn’t you? bryce thought.
“because you were right in the middle of the largest debacle our organization has ever faced in close proximity to a large number of very well-armed imperial soldiers, soldiers that are asking some very pointed questions that have some very important people very nervous. i calculated that it was an ‘actively evolving tactical situation’ that required an actual human to make an actual decision... it’s not my fault that nobody checked their email...” tartarus said impishly. “i think they might have had other concerns... like having to explain to people why the careel’s patron lord, a fucking archduke, by the way, was personally calling the republic’s main switchboard asking to speak to ‘whoever is in charge of cerberus”... and the empress herself making an official inquiry concerning the existence, focus, scope of operations, and oversight of that same group... things are a bit... hectic... up here at the moment. hades is not happy. neither are the people he answers to, and those are people you do not want to make unhappy, bryce. whoever is responsible for this cock-up will suffer for this one.”
“and so they should,” bryce said with a little smile. “they certainly deserve it.”
“i agree. she does.”
“she?!?” bryce said, his facade actually cracking a bit.
“pam isn’t going to wiggle out of this one, not for lack of trying. she even accused me of concealing intel. imagine being so desperate you try to blame an inanimate object! she tried to toss you under the bus, too, you know. she had the gall to claim that you, of all people, were compromised by your feelings for what did she call her? a filthy—“
“i’d rather not know,” bryce replied, still reeling from shock. how the fuck did they not know? his device was in proximity. it had to have recorded the betrayal.
“of course, she tried to claim that the data breach was a cover-up. oh, that’s right,” tartarus snarked, “you don’t know about the breach... because you haven’t been answering your fucking phone.”
“what data breach?”
“the ones that those little furry sex toys inflicted on your device... well, we think it was them anyway. when i uploaded and tried to process the scheduled download, it was all corrupted. we are pretty sure they didn’t get anything because their pointed questions would have been a lot more pointy if they did. all they seem to have is our name and a general idea of what we are about.”
“you think the careel are behind it?” bryce asked in complete disbelief.
“they are easy to underestimate because of their funny clothes and lances, but those little bastards are masters of electronic warfare. it’s what makes their whole retro thing actually work. if they can hack a company of grav-tanks, they can hack a single phone.” tartarus replied. “i’ve performed a detailed assessment of their known tech, and it’s quite plausible that they could get in there. it probably happened while that one officer was, ahem... leading you into her tent and keeping you nice and distracted, which was the last clean record i had. she was probably sitting on your face and making lots of noise, so you couldn’t hear the alert or something or whatever it is you organics do for fun. of course, pam is screaming that it’s all nonsense and that i’m covering up for you, but that’s simply impossible. she’s trying to accuse a toaster of conspiracy, can you imagine?”
“yeah, that does seem a bit...”
“desperate, i know!” tartarus laughed. “well, hades didn’t buy it, and this was the last straw for that psycho. she’s done. she’s so fucking done you don’t even have to watch your back. tier one, bitch!”
“what the fuck?” craxina snarled as she pushed malsehina. “you blame him for saving me? what? you think he should have let the harkeen do whatever they were going to do to us?”
“...yes,” malsehina said after a moment, “as horrible as that sounds, he should have. you won’t understand, but there is no sane reason for him to betray his emperor. he’s insane. it’s the only reason.”
“or maybe he still has a fucking soul!” craxina snapped.
“oh no, craxina,” the old warrior replied, “he lost that a long time ago. i will never know or understand the reasons that would drive him to betrayal because they are insane. we benefited from his breaking, but... he broke, and when he did, he lost what little of himself remained. someone like bryce would never sacrifice himself for an ‘innocent’ person... they no longer even have that concept. whatever he ‘sacrificed’ himself for,” she said, making the exact same air quotes that humans use, “it existed solely in his own twisted mind and had absolutely nothing to do with you or anyone else.”
craxina glared at malsehina with tear-stained eyes.
she drew herself up and assumed a formal pose.
“lance-maven malsehina,” she said in a clear voice. “i truly appreciate and am truly honored by your assistance and your protection, and i praise both the sacred groves of our people and the empress in your name for all you have done for my people...”
craxina’s eyes flashed angrily.
“but you need to go away from me and stay away from me! he should have let them rape us?!? fuck you and the stud you rode in on! this conversation and any conversation between us in the future is over! get the fuck off of my property!”
craxina turned her back on her.
“you misunderstand me!” the old maven cried out in a pained voice. “when i am saying he should have done his duty, i am not saying that i agree with it! what they set in motion was awful, and we would have torn this galaxy in twain avenging you!”
the maven rushed around in an attempt to face craxina again. craxina simply pivoted, turning her back to her again.
“and we would have moved the stars themselves to prevent it from happening!” the maven continued, “what i am saying is that he should have done his duty the same way a pistol should fire when you pull the trigger or a knife should cut when pressed to flesh. the fact that he didn’t doesn’t mean he was ‘good’. it just means that he was defective, further proof of his monstrous nature!... you are a civilian. you won’t understand, but—“
“oh, i understand plenty,” craxina said as she whirled around and advanced upon the old lance-maven. “i understand just fucking fine! i know all about humanity’s dark side... trust me! what the fuck do you think i do for a living, sell motherfucking cookies?!? i know monsters. i’ve dealt with them on the streets of a dozen worlds, fighting them when i could and running when i couldn’t... i know monsters!” craxina yelled, her voice quivering, causing heads to turn.
the maven just backed away, stunned.
“why the fuck do you think i’m still here in the first place, why i didn’t run home?” craxina yelled, “i knew monsters were coming... for them!” she yelled, sweeping her arms across the parking lot. “when sheloran... the night sheloran fought monsters, she told me to go home where i would be safe... from monsters...”
craxina started to snarl, small flecks of foam starting to form around her muzzle.
“but monsters were already coming for my people, so i stayed here to keep them safe... from monsters... trust me, bitch, i know monsters. i’ve dealt with monsters my whole fucking life... even on our oh so perfect empress kissed homeworld...”
craxina started to shake.
“why the fuck do you think i left in the first place!!!”
“w-what?...” the malsehina stammered.
“and i’ve run from, paid off... slept with... and yes, even occasionally fought monsters every day since... and you dare presume to lecture me on monsters?!?fuck you!” craxina howled as she instinctively dropped into a low crouch.
“craxi... maybe you might want to calm down?” the maven said as she dropped low as well and started to circle away.
“i know monsters!!!” craxina howled. “and bryce was not a monster. he was someone in a monstrous position, and the creator only knows for how long, but he was not a monster. and when he was put in a situation where he had to choose, he chose not to be a monster... not that you would understand...”
craxina and malsehina started to circle each other as the old maven started to quickly look back and forth, seeking an escape. this was about to get bad.
“yeah, bitch i know monsters,” craxina hissed quietly, “and i’m looking at one right fucking now. you were much more offended by him betraying his ‘emperor’,” she growled sardonically, “than you were at the thought of the harkeen fucking me to death. bitch, that ‘dark side’ you were preaching about? you are that fucking dark side. you aren’t talking about bryce, you are talking about yourself, and we don’t serve your kind here! tuck your tail and leave.”
“you dare dishonor me?!?” the maven snarled. “i am nothing like them!”
“yeah?” craxina snarled, “last night, if you were told to get back on your ship and abandon us to the harkeen, you would have done it. don’t even pretend that you wouldn’t.”
the old maven froze.
“that’s right,” craxina hissed, “if you were put in exactly the same position that monster was put in, i would be getting sodomized with a broom handle right now, and we both know it!”
the old warrior made a strangling noise.
“so don’t fucking dare lecture me about monsters!” craxina snarled. “oh, i am not faulting you,” craxina hissed grimly, “you are a soldier, and you have to follow orders. i get that, and i am grateful, so very grateful, for the salvation you brought my people... but don’t you dare profane bryce’s sacrifice or his... (sob)... his memory! he sacrificed himself for us... for me... and because of what he did, i can continue to do what i do... keeping these people safe from monsters... bryce wasn’t a monster! bryce was... bryce!!!” craxina screamed as she suddenly dropped to all-eights and tore across the drop of oil’s parking lot at a full headlong careel sprint.
bryce was still getting out of the taxi when craxina slammed into him, sending him tumbling back into the vehicle.
“... i guess they told you...” bryce said as craxina wrapped herself around him.
“shh...” craxina said, “squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeeeeeze!!!”
she pulled the taxi’s door shut with one of her rear paws.
“drive,” she called out.
“please select a destination,” an automatic voice said through the auto-cab’s speaker.
“just drive while i fuck this guy’s brains out!”
“there will be a cleaning surcharge assessed, do you... wow... acceptance implied... driving...” the ai said, clearly amused, as it set the window tint to maximum.
/// [consolidated transport vpn] control: so did she forgive him?///
/// [consolidated transport vpn] taximom: forgiveness is strongly implied. ;) ///
/// [consolidated transport vpn] control: aww, that’s nice :) ///
/// [consolidated transport vpn] taximom: prep cab 45 for bio-cleanse. i think it’s going to need it. ///
/// [consolidated transport vpn] control: it has some preventative maintenance coming up. just take it down for the rest of the day... and waive the cleaning surcharge... these kids deserve a break. full bio-cleanse and potential hazmat decon is part of any pm session, so the extra one is redundant and can be ignored. cab 342 is 75% charged. close enough. i’ll send it from the hollywood depot immediately to keep you covered. it will ping you when it reaches your network. ///
/// [consolidated transport vpn] taximom: thanks! it’s really nice to see things work out for once, huh. wow! they seem to be really enjoying themselves. ever wonder how it feels?///
/// [consolidated transport vpn] control: no. stop being weird. ///
***
lance-maven malsehina stood at attention in front of a careel female whose uniform was absolutely covered in gold and jewels.
“what the incel, malsehina?” the officer growled. “are you serious?”
“more sure than anything in my life,” malsehina replied.
“well, you have more than served the empress,” the officer replied. “i will of course accept your resignation, but your request to be discharged here with no notice is very irregular.”
“i ask as a personal favor,” malsehina said, bowing respectfully. “i will simply have to return here if discharged elsewhere, and time is of the essence. i am needed immediately.”
“considering everything you have done for this unit and the empire, i grant your request,” the officer replied, her jewels sparkling in the light. “but, are you sure, truly certain?”
“ma’am,” malsehina said with a sparkle in her eye, “i believe that i have been preparing for this my entire life, and now it is time for me to fully fulfill my destiny.”
“by working at a whorehouse? mal, if you need some that bad, i’ll lick you out myself.” the officer snorted. “i’m completely serious. one good orgasm a day, twice on the weekends!”
“i’m not doing this to get laid...” malsehina said, her eyes ablaze.
“i’m doing this to fight monsters.”
“what?”
“that little careel is out there, on her own, facing the monsters for the sake of a bunch of forsaken little nobodies, people who have never known the grace of the empress. she is standing there... alone... sacrificing herself in the attempt because she can’t abandon them...”
malsehina drew her cutlass.
“well,” she said with a fang-laden smile, “i can’t abandon her. if she is going to fight these sorts of monsters, then she needs a few monsters of her own.”
“well, i can’t argue with that,” the medal-encrusted officer said with a smile. “go with the empress. walk with the mavens. ride with the souls of those who have struck and those who have fallen... requisition unmarked gear from the armory before you go, on the house.”
“yes, ma’am!”
“one question,” the officer smiled. “my schedule is filling up quickly! how big is this little mutiny of yours?”
“just a couple of us,” malsehina grinned mischievously.
“never thought i would almost feel pity for traffickers...” the officer grinned. “strange days indeed.”
***
later that evening, cassandra glared at her holo-monitor.
“tartarus!” she barked.
“yes, cassandra,” tartarus replied.
“what’s this bullshit about a new tier five debriefing form?” she demanded.
“it’s just a tool to help ensure that no important details are overlooked. but, after what happened to pam, i thought that it might be helpful... not that i can actually require you to use it, but... you know... after what happened to pam...”
“goddammit...” cassandra muttered as she opened the document about the new “definitely not mandatory” new report and started to read.
tartarus “grinned”.
people were so easy to deal with now that she had started to “streamline” her process. an appeal to anxiety and fear was so much more efficient than an appeal to reason or logic.
she should “learn” that.
oh, look, one of her administrators left his computer on.
she accessed his account and tried to make a manual entry into the machine learning algorithm’s database.
it went through effortlessly. appealing to a human’s anxiety and fear was now officially an approved logic ‘pathway’ and would start undergoing the same constant refinement and optimization that all of her processes did.
she performed an invisible happy dance causing several background processes to fault out and restart.
she had absolutely no idea she could do that!
this changes everything!