20demayo Chapter 385
Chapter 385
the second princess was somewhat aware of consort de's manipulative ways, but consort de had always shielded her own children from her darker side. as a result, the second princess was far from foolish.
her struggle was internal, a battle with her own conscience. it was this inner turmoil that caused her to torment herself and, in turn, others.
however, jiang xinyue refused to indulge her whims, leaving the second princess without any excuse for her melodrama.
after being scolded by the eldest princess, the second princess felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her. she realized how ridiculous her recent behavior had been, like a clown jumping around for attention.
if the empress had truly held a grudge, the second princess would have been long gone from the palace. she had even entertained the idea of causing trouble for the empress after leaving the palace by reaching out to her grandfather's old allies.
but now, it dawned on her that she wouldn’t even need to wait until leaving the palace.
while still within the palace walls, she would be forced to marry the prince from fusang, becoming a despised figure, a social outcast.
what would happen after leaving the palace? it would no longer be her concern.
"do you feel embarrassed? should your elder sister accompany you?"
the second princess, now regaining her composure, looked at the eldest princess with bright eyes and nodded vigorously. "yes... i really need it!"
in kunning palace, lady ruan sipped her fragrant tea and handed a letter written by jiang yankun to jiang xinyue. "if your father writes anything nonsensical in this letter, don’t pay him any mind. he’s been gaining more and more advisors under his wing, and i think it’s gone to his head. he’s even considering forming a marriage alliance with the cavalry general's mansion."
the cavalry general's mansion only had third yan left unmarried, a man who could potentially marry a princess. for jiang yankun, a mere minister of justice, to entertain such thoughts was simply overreaching.
as jiang xinyue read the letter, lady ruan continued her rambling. "even though you are now the empress and the sixth prince has become the crown prince, i can’t help but worry. i fear the emperor might grow suspicious of you, that the concubines in the palace might scheme against you, or that your rising influence might provoke the ministers to impeach you. i dare not take a single misstep."
jiang xinyue smiled reassuringly. "mother, you don’t need to worry. everything is fine for me in the palace. the emperor dotes on me and the crown prince. he’s even entrusted me with overseeing the selection of new concubines to ensure i’m not mistreated. what is there to fear? the emperor is more concerned about protecting me and the crown prince from schemes than he is about suspecting father. please, set your mind at ease."
after burning the letter, jiang xinyue took lady ruan’s hand. "i heard that some noblewomen mocked you to your face about your background as a dancer from the ruyang prince's residence. did you slap them?"
ultimately, it was her own feelings of inadequacy, her belief that her background was too shameful, and the constant judgmental looks from others that made her habitually devalue herself.
whenever something good came her way, her first thought was whether she deserved it.
when it came to her children, she also felt they were inferior to others, that they would be looked down upon and mistreated if they married into prestigious families.
jiang xinyue sighed. "mother, you know how difficult it is for me in the palace. without strong support, the crown prince’s path will only be harder. if our family had more power, the crown prince wouldn’t have to struggle so much, but..."
"enough!"
lady ruan stood up from her chair, her previously hunched posture now straight and resolute. "it was third yan who took a liking to our jiang xinyan, not the other way around. our jiang xinyan is beautiful, virtuous, educated, kind, and filial. there are few in the capital who can compare to her. marrying her would be a blessing for the cavalry general's mansion."
"empress, the eldest princess and the second princess are here to see you."
shuang jiang signaled to jiang xinyue that the two princesses had overheard the conversation between the empress and lady ruan.
if the emperor had arrived, there would have been a secret signal, but since it was just the two princesses, it wasn’t necessary.
it wasn’t as if they were discussing anything scandalous.
the second princess nervously paid her respects to jiang xinyue. so, third yan already had someone he liked, and it was the empress’s own sister?
how could she possibly ask for a marriage arrangement now?
"rise, both of you. what brings you here together today? it’s not often we see such a sight."
the eldest princess visited often, so this remark was directed at the second princess.
the second princess blushed and knelt down. "mother empress, i was wrong before. please forgive me for my past actions."